Friday Rants

So the weather here is persistently going to stay in the high 50s/low 60s through…frickin Memorial Day weekend! Thank you very much. I love you, Wisconsin.

Because it’s Friday (and the impending bar gathering with my friend Katie tonight is all I can seem to focus on), I have a bunch of random thoughts floating around. This seems to happen quite often on Fridays and I think I’m starting to notice a trend here. (Note - need to come up with clever Friday/complaining catch phrase).

Why are the Black Eyed Peas still making music? Seriously, who’s listening to them? If you enjoy even the most mainstream rap/r&b songs, even the BEP are going to be too vanilla for you. On the flip, if you don’t like that type of music, the Peas certainly don’t have catchy enough lyrics or beats for you to turn. They’re terrible and Fergie looks like a middle-aged man in Madonna drag. Way to go, Josh Duhamel, for deciding to marry that one…

Is it just me, or are gas prices f*cking going up AGAIN?!?

I hate it when people update you on information that you never cared about – and made it very clear that you didn’t care about - to begin with. Example:
Person A: Do you know who’s yellow coat that is sitting on the chair over there?
Person B: Nope.
Person A: Well its right over by your desk…was it here when you got in this morning?
Person B: Dunno. Been busy, um, working.
(45 minutes later)
Person A: Oh, I guess the coat belonged to the woman who Person X is having a meeting with in the library. I kept wondering, “who would leave such a pretty coat just lying…”
Get the idea?

How come I’ve ran THREE half-marathons in the last month and am still not a size 2? And if you say its all the beer I’ve been drinking, I’m going to smash you in the face. I’ve switched to Miller 64 for christ’s sake…what more do you people want from me???

On a lighter note, bars are starting to get the summer ales in stock which is AWESOME. My favs: Honey Moon (Blue Moon summer brew), Sam Adam’s Summer Ale, Sunset Wheat (only on draft – bottles not as good), and Bud Light Lime (shut up – love it).

Cats are like men. When you live with them, they completely destroy your place – leaving messes, taking stinky craps, eating whatever you leave lying around and getting all your furniture dirty. When they finally break one too many candle holders or dump one too many plants on the ground, you’re about ready to throw them out. Then they curl up next to you in bed on a dreary Friday morning and you realize that the whole “I can do whatever I want” attitude is kinda what you like about them to begin with.

I stayed up way too late watching a movie I Netflixed called “Passengers”. Its supposed to be a Twilight zone-type thriller about an airplane crash and I ended up almost crying at the end. Time to put away the Cabernet, dear…

Quote of the day: “Oh Jesus, she’s a lukewarm mess!”

Friends w/no Benefits

Can we discuss the “friends with your ex” issue? Yeah I want to go there. I’m sure there are countless bloggers that have already covered this much better then myself but its finally really hit home with me.

So let’s break it down shall we?

Being friends with someone you’ve dated is a bad idea.

Actually, let’s clarify.

Being friends with someone you’ve slept with is a bad idea.

Let’s look at this from different points of view because I think it’s safe to say everyone has dealt with this on many different levels.

I know guys that I’ve been involved with and would love to have them as friends. You know why…because I don’t want to sleep with them anymore. Not even a little. Not even drunk. Not. At. All. You know why it doesn’t work?...because they’d still want to sleep with me. Just a little. Even drunk. All. The. Time.

On the flip side, there are exes I have that would still want to be with. You know why we’re not friends? Because either:
They don’t want to be with me
They’re in a relationship
If we got together, we’d be together (and still not just friends)

Now let’s turn the tables. Ever dated someone who’s still friends with their ex? Yeah – it sucks. You put on the “no, its cool…I trust you” face but it’s a lie. Maybe you do trust YOUR significant other but you know one of the aforementioned scenarios is occurring. Someone still wants someone and no matter who’s playing what role, you’re not happy about it.

Ever been told by someone that you can still be friends after a breakup? I don’t mean when someone says it just to lighten the situation or ease the pain…I mean when they actually mean it? Like they actually think that’s a probable option. Sure, let’s email once in awhile, meet up for drinks and maybe hit up a baseball game now and again.

Are you fucking serious? Yeah that sounds like a great idea. Umm, actually I’d rather just stay home and continuously stab myself in skull if you don’t mind.

After much consideration, I realized there are a few situations where this really is acceptable and might actually work:

• If you dated the person but had no sexual relationship. This usually would occur with a boyfriend/girlfriend you had when young or a relationship that lasted only a few dates
• If your ex is now gay.
• Let’s be honest – if one of the people involved is really hideously ugly now. That’s such a horrible thing to say, but true…
• If one of the people involved lives very, very far away. This one still isn’t necessarily a good thing, but the chances of actual physical contact are incredibly limited. Plus how much time are you going to spend emailing and texting a person you’ve already dated and broken up with?
• If they’re in prison. Assuming the sentence is at least a few years, what’s the harm? Although constantly being reminded that you were continuously intimate with someone who’s now behind bars might not do much for your self-esteem.
• If they’ve since had a sex-change operation or begun the process of having a sex-change operation…unless you’re bi. In that case, this one is null and void.